Procrastination Party

“The act of delaying or postponing something” according to Ms. Google.  It’s not a feeling or a thought. It’s an action. It doesn’t make the thing we are avoiding go away.  It keeps the task in our brains where it takes up space. It creates an awful party in our brain.

Next on the guest list: Our thoughts. “I should really do that, I’m going to do that later, I don’t really know how to do that, I don’t want to do that…”. All of those thoughts take up space.

Fashionably late are our feelings. “Anxious, angry, resentful, restless, tired, guilt, shame…” All of those feelings take up space and energy in our bodies.

High schoolers are faced with procrastination on the best of days, and this year is even more compounded with independent learning, whether it is full time online, distance or hybrid.  This is the kind of high school party that doesn’t end well – and no one wants the cops to show up.

Continuous procrastination, just like too many parties, leads to a negative impact on teens, showing up as low self-esteem, anxiety and depression.

How can we combat procrastination? It’s a wildly and popular party that draws in as many kids as it can!

Here are three main ways to help teens get rid of procrastination:

• Meet with your teen. Choose one task they’ve been avoiding. Break up the task into smaller tasks. Have them write down when specifically they will do the small tasks. Next step is to remove distractions, set a timer for 10 mins., and allow them to achieve a small task. Celebrate, jump up and down, wave your arms! The brain will accept the completed task as a success and want more.  Train your brain.
• Talk with your teen about your obstacles and how you’ve overcome them, or research a role model of theirs and use their example. Keep the conversation short but impactful. Discuss the fear of failure and how that can stop us from achieving our success. Fear is just a feeling. They can choose a new feeling (like meeting someone new at a party). Then go back to Step One.
• For perfectionists, look to prior successes that were “less than perfect” and still brought a positive result. Many times students will choose an F over an B because they have control over the Fail but the B is labeled a disappointment to them. It’s like not going to a party at all because it “might not be fun.”  Discuss grade averages using the usual course and numerous assignments in a class.  Help your student learn about the amount of effort needed to combat an F versus the effort to bring up a B.  Then go back to Step One.

The next time you want to procrastinate, try these steps yourself and then share your experience with your teen.  We’re all human and they learn from watching us.

Good luck! If you have any questions or want more information, please email me, I’d love to talk with you about this!